Marriage, Babies, & I Love You Maybes

True Story!

So it has been a while since my last post… I was a bit distracted with other projects and life in general but I have to say I truly missed Love Bungalow and how easily the words flow when writing about the topic of love or lack there of. God knows I have experienced both more than once and am so lucky for the knowledge and experience I have gained over the years and losses.

So much has happened since my last entry. My best friend  had her baby boy JD, another friend  had her baby girl Bella,  two others are pregnant, my elementary school friend and two others were married last month, three friends got engaged, and a few marriages ended or on the verge of.

WOW, I look around me and it seems like things are falling into place as they should for most or falling apart due to stress and or choosing the wrong person for others. I guess it has to do with my age, this is usually the time your friends start getting married and having kids, if they haven’t already.  It also seems to be the time people who got together too young or for the wrong reasons start to realize (it is wrong). My life took me on a totally different path than the norm and although it has been really sucky at times, I am so happy I haven’t made life changing mistakes like marrying a past douche bagger or worse, mothering one of their spawn (yikes). Ok, maybe a tad bit harsh, whatevs, it is well deserved :)

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Are You Happy? (Guest Post)

What does it mean to be truly happy? I ponder this question all the time because happiness is not a momentary feeling, it is not something that should change from minute to minute. There are going to be times when we feel down and times when we feel high on life; but happiness, real true happiness is a state of mind, a sense of peace that even when you are having a bad day, week, or even year, you can still sit back, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that overall life is pretty good.

Being unhappy is not caused by a lack of “things” that you think are missing in your life. Being happy means to be grateful and take inventory of WHO you have and what they bring to your life, but most importantly, who you are and whether you are bringing good, or bad things to yourself. We can be our biggest obstacle and enemy in life! In a sense no one can hurt or help us more than ourselves.

“Who Honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us…and at the same time sings that we’ll never die? Who teaches us what’s real… and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we’ll die to defend? Who chains us…and who holds the key that can set us free? It’s you. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!”

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Whatever Wedding = Messy Marriage

Marriage is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

I would love to be married, I am not going to sit here and act like I don’t care if it never happens for me. Of course I want to spend and share my life with another. All women and most men do as well (regardless of what they say). But I will soon become an old crazy cat lady and die alone, before I marry anyone for the wrong reasons, wrong reasons meaning for anything other than LOVE!

Now of course there is much more to choosing your husband/wife than just merely love. You can have love for someone who is totally wrong for you, you can love someone who doesn’t want to get married, or who has deep seeded emotional issues, or life debilitating addictions. Love can move mountains when it is truly right, but getting yourself into a situation where the individual is spiraling down or sleeping around is never a wise choice for your life and future regardless of love.

I get a lot of crap at times from people who are either married, have children, or at least have been married and are now divorced. It goes a little something like this:

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Put on Your Big Girl & Boy Panties & Apologize!

Saying sorry or apologizing does make us feel vulnerable. You are putting yourself out there and never know how the recipient of the sorry is going to react, so how could you not feel a little vulnerable? But here’s the thing: It is vital in order for us to have healthy relationships. We all want and need to feel safe with the people we allow into our circle of trust and it is super important that we know the people we are close to care about how we feel and are willing to admit their flaws. So refusing to take any responsibility for wrongdoing or hurt feelings just makes that person seem unsafe or untrustworthy and honestly like they really don’t care too much about the other person involved.

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Drop The Toad, He Is NOT A Prince!

 

Are you sick of kissing douche bag frogs trying to find your Prince?

 

Solution: Take off your Tiara “Princess” and stop looking for your prince, he does not exist. If you are stuck in fairytale land waiting for that kiss that changes your life and the man that makes everything perfect, you should prepare for a long life of suck!

Now I am not saying there are not amazing men in the world, there are, and you deserve to find one, but guess what?!… You are never going to find him by dating the douches of the world and hoping they will fall in love with you one day. Especially after they have basically told you, in a million different ways, that they are not ready for anything serious.

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